Have you seen the commercial for a Gillete razor that asks some of the most beautiful young women I’ve ever seen their preference about male body hair? Kate, Hannah, and Genesis, confidant young ladies, prefer their men shaved in all the right places and it can be assumed that men are helping each other shave their backs right now, some using weed whackers and push lawn mowers. Don’t take my word for it, watch the commercial, only you have to skip the commercial before the commercial:
In what passes for modern life, men are apparently now required to shave their pubic hair. Not trim it, shave it. As in off. Or, there is the laser removal option. Like James Bond, men are now expected to lie on a table while a stranger points a laser at our… you know… parts and remove only the hair. Talk about trust in a relationship, it is something of a mystery that the same laser that can permanently alter my eyesight can also convince hair not to ever grow in certain areas ever again:
Bond was played by Sean Connery (best Bond ever), a hairy man. I don’t see Connery buying a razor and shaving his rear end for Kate Upton. (Yes, I can hear women screaming at the computer, “We’ve been shaving for years!” All I have to say is, “Thank you!”) On CBS Sunday Morning this week, (a news show aired on SUNDAY morning) correspondent Moe Rocca did a piece on men’s hair removal and one of them was a troll like guy who willingly had wax applied to his chest and back so he could become hairless. Moe asked him what his wife, who didn’t know this was coming, would think of the new Him and the troll said, “She’ll think I’m an idiot.”
The point is, how do we watch TV anymore without being forced to confront personal issues that used to not be discussed at all? From adult diapers to erectile dysfunction to menstrual issues, you can’t watch a ballgame without cringing. Tony Siragusa, a big fat Jersey football player, invades my living room to recommend a pad for men who leak. Joe Theisman, another football guy, is willing to go on and on about his swollen prostate. Between innings of a baseball game, a time previously saved for action movie previews and dueling beer ads, has become the personal revelation hour. Why do men flip channels? Because we don’t want to see tampon ads, that’s why!
Stay Thirsty My Friends,