We all want a payoff. We want to get that bonus, that girl, that boy, that ticket to heaven.

What’s In It For Me?

I keep getting this message in my meditations, “focus on service.” My Wall Street sharpened lizard brain says, “What’s the payoff?” There’s always a payoff, even if it is to simply feel good about yourself.

Good salespeople know how to sell to W.I.F.M., the only radio frequency that matters. Economists call it “The Invisible Hand:” people will always act in self interest. Writers write to it, performers perform to it. There’s nothing evil or wrong about it, just part of life. We take care of ourselves first.

“Put that oxygen mask on your own face before the baby’s.”

If you are gifted enough to make things “Win-Win” then you are going to go far; life is about trades. Find out what people really want and trade them money or time for it and you have the keys.

The trouble starts when you can’t find the payoff. When there is no satisfaction, no light after the tunnel. When the job is hopeless, when the relationships are no longer rewarding, when the joy is gone.

Survival mode is not a long term fix.

Fear and pain are great motivators, relief might be “What’s In It For Me.” Dictators know this, so does the IRS, so did Miss Arrigi, my fifth grade English teacher.

Moving away from pain is a fix.

In Middle Age, we start to ask some questions again, “What Is In THIS for Me?” Not asking these questions is avoidance at its finest. If you choose to live, to not wait for the nursing home van to pick you up, at some point you have to reconnoiter. (I never connoitered, now I have to reconnoiter?) Here’s what my meditations told me about it this week:

1. See the underlying divine order. Everything is as it should be, accept and trust.

2. Peace. Peace comes from remembering that only love is real.

3. Create. Find an expression for you soul, express something that is uniquely yours, at work, at home, in service.

If you are lost, hopeless, depressed, I get that. I’ve been there more than I care to admit. Find something that means something to you and put expression to it. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel.

I just did.