To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. Bertrand Russell

John wasn’t really afraid, he’d convinced himself, just cautious. He listened to the radio, watched TV, he knew you couldn’t be too careful.

He got up, brushed, flossed and used antibacterial soap. He wore shower shoes into the shower, used natural shampoo and scrubbed with a loofa. He had, of course, already read the entire manual to his electric blowdryer, had registered it with the company and then carefully plugged it into a UL approved powerstrip, in case of a lightening storm while he was grooming.

He called his family together for the weekly home fire drill and disaster preparedness meeting.He noted that his daughters still couldn’t get down the emergency rope ladders in the necessary time. In the event of a communications blackout, they would all meet at the elementary school, they still have fallout shelters in the basement. He changed his passwords on his computer, ran an anti virus scan and called the electric company for an energy audit. Yes, the company assured him the worker would have proper ID. He changed his smoke alarm batteries, took natural vitamins and supplements to go with his organic oatmeal and he planned the five fruits and vegetables for his day. He also took garlic, ginkgo baloba, saw palmetto and a calcium supplement.

He checked the home alarm and deadbolts, according to the news, there have been a rash of home invasions in town and he checked the weather, didn’t want to go out without an umbrella. He turned on the electric fence and left Shep outside, he’d make sure no one came near the yard. His Volvo ran as good as new, it should, he had brand new tires and brakes, about the only things not covered by his extended warranty. He went into the bank to get cash, those ATM’s can lead to identity theft, and nodded at the guard as he walked by. The guard and he had discussed the security they felt in having 6 months worth of emergency meals in the basement, they had become something of friends after running into each other at the Army surplus store. John had 3 guns, locked, at the house and today he had pepper spray, a whistle and a revolver with him.

He registered to vote and decided to become a Big Brother, if he could be assured there was no gang involvement. He bought condoms, called the IRS for help with his taxes and told his broker to buy gold. He prided himself on being great with money and not taking any risk, if the global economy collapsed, he’d have gold… and the guns.

He was happy to live in the land of the free and home of the brave. He knew you couldn’t be too careful. Happy to know that he was in control of his life, that he took care of his things, that he kept his environment free of germs (and dust) and that he would not let “them” get him.

It’s really too bad that bus ran him over outside the bank.

We are food for worms.

Carpe Diem Baby!

 

 

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